I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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