Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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