Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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