I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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