i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
