You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
