So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
