Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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