Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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