About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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