Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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