careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
