careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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