UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
