Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
