just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
