like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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