The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize