And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
