Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize