If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
