and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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