her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
