ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Randomize
