Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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