I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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