gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
