it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Blood and glitter go together right?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
