Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
