Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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