Kiss
Puke
That's intense
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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