ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
