great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
