walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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