so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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