i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
operation have a gay friend backfired
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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