I hope mine doesn't look like that
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
