i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
