Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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