I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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