Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
