But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
