I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
