This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
