Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
