At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
