Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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