Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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