Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
