I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize