come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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