We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
