i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
