: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
