Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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