u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My liver is preforming stress tests.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
