I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
