Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He passed out mid-signature
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
