ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
