What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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