i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We have started to decorate penises.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
