I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
