..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
