It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
