it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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