My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
